Monday, 4 March 2013

Tugging Heartstrings

Titled : Alex and I

I promised you this post, so here it is.

Just the other day while I was putting on my make up, a thought flashed into mind. Prior to that thought, I was thinking about the first movie that we watched together and then it led me to thinking of the first time you held my hands and the first time our lips touched. Little details that people like us often take for granted. Every once in a while, rather, every few days I'd scroll through our old pictures and first form of communication, facebook for that matter to indulge in a moment of reminiscence. The flicker of warmth that ignites and sparks inside of me whilst on the thought arouses so much happiness and silly me would smile to myself for a good 3 seconds before realising it. And yes, I still get hyped up as ever whenever I know I'll be meeting you. It's like adrenaline would rush all over inside of me and my head would spin into a fuzzy whirl of excitement.

Being a part of this fast paced society, it has left me with minimum options to slow things down and scattered brain or more like flustered me can't seem to catch a breath and it's making me crazy. Nevertheless, as much as I'd like to, I hope in time to come, I can take time aside to recall frequently theses details only because I don't want to wake up one day and forget the sweet little things. I pretty much fear the feeling of emptiness and nothingness. 

When we first started going out, he would be the one asking me in hopes to remind me of the small happenings like our first everything because I never fail to forget. We had more time to each other when we first started going out to the point we met every single day without fail for a whole month. We were inseparable. But now, time has been taking it's toll on us and a train ride to school may be all we have for each other on some days when our plates are so filled and full with insane tight datelines to meet. Because of the great transformation of time we get to spend together, I slowly learnt that I really shouldn't take anything for granted. Even the simplest matter like being able to open my eyes in the morning to read a message left behind by him or to experience the rest of the day, I'm thankful. Very undoubtedly, it is so much easier put in words than into action when the phrase, never take anything for granted comes into place. But as much as you can, try to appreciate the little things in life because when they are gone, you'll be missing them pretty badly.

I wrote this post because Alex was telling me how I hardly blog about him and myself anymore nowadays. It was his second time pointing it out and I feel extremely bad to have not attended to his concern earlier on. So, on the day that he told me about this, I made it a point to set an alarm in my phone to act as a reminder to draft this post out and boy am I glad I forced myself to make this effort because it made me feel alittle better thinking about him after watching a horrible video on animal abuse. Sidetrack, but there's a quote that I read on twitter that says "Never fall for a guy who doesn't love dogs" Totally agreeing and fully in support for this quote and thank jesus he loves dogs. But again, hey jesus, where were you when the animals needed you? Thank you jesus for Alex, but please I pray you help the animals in need too.


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